ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i came on her dog
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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