Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
