(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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