Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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