im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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