His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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