I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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