I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
