I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
