When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
