He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
and she was petting her beer can
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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