Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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