maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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