I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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