i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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