Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
