Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
