I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
