i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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