I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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