no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
