I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
