? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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