i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I have post one night stand depression
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