D3 body, D1 cock
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
please don't ironically join a cult
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