Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize