dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
