Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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