we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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