I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize