Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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