Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
