I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
