i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
