I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
