would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize