...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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