I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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