people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
