why didn't you poke me back
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
