you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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