i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
