Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
