I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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