quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hippo gnu deer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
