speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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