Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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