true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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