Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize