Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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