I just cut my nipple shaving
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
