I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
