i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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