Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
