I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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