So drunk its hurt
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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