I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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