so explain again why im purple
no
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
