it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
