No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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