I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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