Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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