just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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