My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
