She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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