his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
