She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
