I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There r osticjed everywhere
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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