Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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