just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
